Rubbish Fine Theory

The F.I.N.E. diagnosis I wrote about in my last post is complete Rubbish. I have no intention to delete that post as something important is true about it - Buddhism doesn't mean becoming a perfectly happy, always calm, always energetic, optimistic, detached person. But let's have a closer look at the "FINE theory" in Buddhism.

First off, what does "fucked up" mean? Somebody who can't handle basic life problems, someone who is mentally and physically torn into pieces. Someone who is addicted to drugs, who beats up his partner, whose house is a complete mess, who attacks people in public places for no sensible reason. I don't think that Brad Warner, the original guy who was labeled FINE by Stephanie is "fucked up" at all. I think he can deal with his problems very decently and honestly. And me too, I feel I am beginning to deal with my problems decently and honestly, but it could be better.

Insecure. I think I am insecure about twice a week or so, it depends on a situation. I feel insecure in situations I am not familiar with. I am not insecure among people in general, I am not insecure among my students etc. But there are situations where I feel insecure. Big deal. And having met Brad, I don't think he has problems with insecurity, at worst he will be insecure in some particular situations.

Neurotic. That's a serious diagnosis. Let's check wikipedia. "Neurosis (from the Greek νεύρωσις) refers to a class of functional mental disorder involving distress but neither delusions nor hallucinations, where behavior is not outside socially acceptable norms.[1] It is also known as psychoneurosis or neurotic disorder, and thus those suffering from it are said to be neurotic.

There are many different specific forms of neurosis: pyromania, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety neurosis, hysteria (in which anxiety may be discharged through a physical symptom), and an endless variety of phobias. "

Yeah, sure, Brad is all of that, pyromaniac, he suffers from obsessive/compulsive disorder, anxiety and is hysterical and is afraid of everything. And so am I.

Emotional. That's the last FINE symptom. I actually believe that if you are not emotional, you are really fucked up. Emotions are a necessary part of a human life. If you are not emotional, what kind or person are you?

I think Stephanie declared Brad as "FINE" after having read about his conflicts with Jundo Cohen. If having conflicts with somebody qualifies as FINE and means we cannot be considered true Buddhists, then we are in trouble and all Buddhism is. But Buddhism is not finding an agreement with anyone, finding a peaceful solution with anyone, never using a gun or never raising your voice. That's the pacifist idealistic branch of Buddhism that is so popular with people who hardly understand what Buddhism really is. We should always try to be kind and peaceful, but we should not stick to this and we should be flexible and realistic.

Anyway, if we practice zazen, the zazen itself puts our body and mind into a balanced state. An angry person usually calms down, a bored person sometimes wakes up, it doesn't work like a watch and you cannot expect zazen to make you feel balanced no matter what. But if practiced regularly and correctly, it shows in our everyday life. And under normal conditions, you do feel balanced and calm during zazen and after zazen.

F.I.N.E.

F.I.N.E. stands for fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.

Stephanie commented on last Brad's post and wrote an interesting thing about Brad's sincere sharing his problems, feelings, pain etc. She wrote:

"However, the paradox for me is, if Zen teachers can remain so blatantly self-unaware on so many levels, what does that say about the value of the practice? If people who go through therapy successfully seem to become more self-aware than Zen students, why practice? If whatever one can come to know on the cushion leaves one as F.I.N.E. (Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional) as Brad and Jundo, might one be hard pressed to say what exactly makes it worth doing? How can we know if the "truth" we think we find is anything more than another delusion?"

To put it briefly, before I started to practice zazen about 16 years ago, I felt fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. And I couldn't put up with it. I felt awfully for these two reasons / one that I was like that and two I didn't want to be like that. Now, after 16 years of practicing zazen I am fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. The huge difference is that I am not bothered by this very much, very often I don't care at all and can just enjoy my life. Although I am aware of all kinds of weaknesses and problems with my personality, it is like looking at a picture. Ah, here I am, a bit fucked up, I see.

Buddhist practice does not make us better people, that's what psychotherapy should do - help one solve a problem, become more relaxed or open about something etc. But practicing Buddhism means to see directly what we are - not just as an image, looking at our life as a whole and admit our problems, but also looking who we are just right now. Just looking what we are just now is already solution to all our psychosomatic problems. Just now everyone can forget about zillions of mental problems they ever had and just become one with reality, which is neutral, not bad, not good. That's the enormous, incredible liberation that Buddhist practice offers. Someone who says, after 20 years of practice, I am still full of doubts, questions, problems, is just saying, after 20 years of practice, I am still a human being. That's what we are supposed to be. The question is can we realize the rock bottom of our existence? Can we appreciate it despite all our mental problems? Can we stop now and see it?

Whenever I can sit down and practice zazen, I feel my problems have been completely solved. Sometimes I only feel it vaguely, sometimes clearly, but always it happens. And whenever I can study a bit of authentic Buddhist philosophy or a share a bit of my own Buddhist experience with others, it liberates me and encourages me.

Until recently, I still expected somekind of big change in my life, becoming a teacher of Buddhism or starting a family or becoming this or that. I don't expect anything to happen or any kind of essential change about myself or my life anymore. Of course, changes, even huge changes can happen, but that's not the point for me anymore. Already, this imperfect, insecure guy, is ok just like this. The question is: Can he always appreciate this? And the answer is: No. Not always. But that's ok too.

If there is a goal in Buddhism, it should be always go back to reality, no matter what, go back to the truth itself. It is rather "back" than "forward". Because all of us have already been there, many times today, many times yesterday, zillions of times during our life. Zazen means going back, not forward. Kodo Sawaki said "Zazen is like returning to your mother's womb, so it is not a task."

Do you want me to make it all pretty confusing? OK. Zazen does have some psychosomatic effects. You can calm down or regain energy through zazen. But please, don't expect zazen to do this or you will make it something that it isn't. Don't wait for results after 5 minutes, one hour or even 100 years. If you understand Buddhism, you will see there are no results essentially. Which is just what should happen. Calming down or waking up are just side effects. If you only want to become a better person, forget about Buddhism and really attend some psychoterapeutical sessions or practice yoga - those are intended to help you in that sense. Seeking help and doing something about our mental problems is sometimes necessary. But Buddhism is just about becoming what we have always been originally.

A Whale Will Eat You

In the last post I wrote something about a whale and then I realized that it may sound quite puzzling to most people - zazen is a whale that will eat you?

I wrote: "Only when you stop looking for specials in practicing zazen, you will be fully digested by zazen, zazen will be a whale that will eat you completely and digest you completely and there will be nowhere to go."

I meant something concrete but used a poetic language so I will try to explain what I meant.

When we stop looking for something special in zazen, which for a lot of people is probably a bit difficult, as they expect something special happening in zazen, we realize we are just here and now and here and now is fine. When here and now is fine we can calm down and just sit here and now. When we just sit here and now, we open the door of our body and mind and they can accept the whole of the universe, in other words through body and mind we can accept the whole of the universe. I don't mean we can let other galaxies fly into our mind or into our lungs. I just mean that we can let the incredible power of universe that cannot be described in words flood our body and mind. Although we can never disconnect from this incredible power of universe, when we calm down in zazen we can accept this power as our own. In other words, when we sit peacefully in zazen, we realize that the truth is just here and now and we are kind of victims of the truth, we are prisoners of the truth, we cannot do anything about it, cannot escape it, it is the ultimate power of the universe, the ultimate reality of the universe, and it acts like flood or a huge whale that opens its mouth and gulps down the person sitting in zazen. When I wrote that it eats us and digests us, I mean that there is not a tiny little piece of us, not a bit of leftover, that could say "but, I..." or "maybe" or "well, I think..." We are completely digested by the truth and cannot do anything. Only accept it.

What I have just described is something that may sound special or strange, but it is just what everyone experiences when sitting in zazen peacefully. It is not something we are necessarily aware of. When our body and mind is in the balanced state, we are completely digested by the truth - we just often have no idea it is so. When we start to think "hmm, digested, not digested, true, not true..." then these leftovers are threw up from the whale's stomach, but when we just calm down and let go of our thoughts, the stomach of the whale is working well and we are completely digested after all. This is not something that happens after five minutes or after five hours or after five years of sitting. Being digested after all is something that happens in an instant, when we are balanced and we let go of our thoughts and accept what is here and now.

This doesn't mean our self disappears. Our self is just another aspect of the whole universal power and there is no reason to try to kill it or get rid of it. When I say we are eaten and digested, it is not the self that is eaten and digested, just our narrow opinions, ideas, and points of view that prevent us from experiencing the balanced state of body and mind in which the truth can be fully accepted.

When the truth is fully accepted, without having to say"I have accepted the truth", without words, then there is nowhere to go to look for the truth. When we sit in zazen, there is no reason to look for another place, a better place, a better state, a better person. We cannot go anywhere that would offer a better zazen, or a better truth.

It Has Nothing to Do With It

A student asked Suzuki roshi whether such activities like arts, tea ceremony and others may be an alternative to sitting zazen. He wanted to know whether through calligraphy or other Japanese disciplines and arts we could find the same thing we find in zazen. Is zazen not just one of many ways how to attain something deep?

Suzuki roshi answered:"Sitting (zazen) has nothing to do with arts, tea ceremony or sumi-e."

The thing is zazen is not a means, not some kind of arts or a field of human world. Sitting in zazen is just being here and now, not making something or working on something. There are no expectations, goals, achievements in zazen. It's just that people bring goals and expectations to zazen and then want zazen to take them somewhere. But there is nothing to find in zazen, just here and now. Even when we sit for the first time, it is authentic zazen and buddhahood is realized at once.

As there is no goal in zazen, it is ridiculous to do it for some time, several weeks or years and then stop - I have found what I've been looking for so now I can give up zazen. Zazen helped me to see the truth and now I can stop. In that case it was not authentic zazen you practiced, rather something that helped you see something. But the essence in Buddhism is being here and now without tryting to be somewhere else and accept what is now without trying to make the truth something else. So true zazen will never change, it will never reveal what cannot be already experienced. Zazen will never do anything for someone who is looking for something special. Only when you stop looking for specials in practicing zazen, you will be fully digested by zazen, zazen will be a whale that will eat you completely and digest you completely and there will be nowhere to go. So try to stop trying to achieve something through zazen and you will be able to accept what is there here and now, accept your buddhahood. It is there even if you don't believe in it, but in zazen you can learn to accept it. Not by having goals, but just sitting over and over again and over and over again dropping expectations and goals.

Take Care of Yourself

About helping others, Suzuki roshi said: "It's alright to take care of others, but first you have to take care of yourself!"

It is great when some people are really helpful and do things for others. But sometimes they forget to help themselves and eventually may be quite exhausted or frustrated. Sometimes it is easier to go and help someone rather than go and help oneself. But helping oneself is not necessarily something self-centered.

To help oneself means to do something in order to be able to see the reality here and now and to be able to act realistically and properly. To help oneself means to do something that opens our eyes so we can see what is necessary to do and what is not. To help oneself means to go back to the balance of body and mind and feel peaceful. When we put our body and mind in balance, we know what to do, where to go and how to help this world and do it without being exhausted, frustrated or just escaping from our own personal problems.

We should never forget to make sure that we help ourselves enough - we should not neglect ourselves, our substantial needs and our need to rest and feel balanced after a hard day or before a hard day or sometimes in the middle of a hard day. And even if our life becomes awfully difficult from time to time, we should find a way how to rest and feel good to gain energy to deal with our problems in a way that is honest, brave and doesn't end up in doing something crazy. We should not forget we deserve to be kind to ourselves, even in the most difficult times of our lives. When we continue our lives in the midst of difficulties with our heads up, acting bravely and sincerely, we can encourage and help others a lot. But the beginning is here, where we are, not where others are. Our basis is here, where our body and mind are, so we should treat our body and mind properly. We should take care of ourselves, do our best in this field.

Brad in the Meadow with Flowers and Butterflies

I went to a sesshin led by Brad Warner in Frankuft last month and I can only say Brad does exist and comes across as even more relaxed than in his books and videos. His "fuck you" actually sounds something like "beautiful flowers in the meadow full of butterflies". I have never heard the words "fuck you" sound more gently. All the people who worry that Brad shows no compassion and speaks badly should listen to him - his "fuck you" definitely contains more compassion that all the fake love words of all the fake insincere people of the fake world of fake compassion.

And the way he is relaxed is not like someone who doesn't care about others and things, rather in terms of absolutely not trying to look like anybody else, just being himself. When he is tired, he looks tired. When he is confused, he looks confused. When he is having fun, he looks as if he was having fun. It is so encouraging to see someone who doesn't try to look better and who doesn't pretend a Buddhist teacher is a super special being. Mike is just like that but Mike is a very experienced guy in his sixties so I kind of expect such behavior from him, while Brad is basically my generation and speaks the way our generation speaks and acts the way our generation acts so that shows to me that being a Buddhist teacher is just being sincere and true, no matter what generation you are, no matter what clothes you like, no matter what music you listen to and no matter how tired you are.

Hansel and Gretel - a Buddhist version

I wrote this after Mike Luetchford's talk a few days ago in Brno on the law of cause and effect. After the talk, suddenly I decided to rewrite this famous fairy tale. It may be totally off the mark, totally useless, crazy, boring and whatever. But I just did it. It was fun to write it. It is based on a version I found on the internet, but I only left very few words intact, otherwise used my own language and added different things and changed the plot a bit.


Here it is

Simply Gretel


A woodcutter lived in a tiny cottage in the forest with his two children, Hansel and Gretel. Although he was quite poor, he often felt calm and happy. He enjoyed chopping wood or playing with his kids. But his second wife yelled at the children and bitched about this and that and nagged the woodcutter.
"There isn’t enough food. It’s high time we got rid of the two brats," she said. Then she told her husband to leave the children in the forest. Despite his love for them, he was unable to resist. He felt weak when he heard his wife’s commanding voice.
"Take them miles away from here so they never find their way back home!"
Hansel had overheard his parents' talk.
"If they do leave us in the forest, we'll find the way home," he said to his sister.
“Maybe”, she said. “But is this still our home? Dad loves us, for sure, but this lady will always give us a hard time and chase us away.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see how things unfold.”

The next morning the woodcutter took Hansel and Gretel away into the forest. He didn’t think much, just kept walking. “This must be a strange dream. Only a dream,” he thought. After walking several miles he had to stop. He almost fainted.
Soon the kids realized they were lost and without their father. But Gretel did not panic.
"I know we’re lost and hungry and it is pitch-dark now. Anyway, this can’t last forever. We’ll find out what to do!"
Gretel tried to encourage her brother, but she too shivered when she saw shadows and strange shapes around them in the darkness. All night the two children sat at the foot of a large tree. They couldn’t fall asleep.
At dawn they started to wander around the forest, seeking a path, a path to a friendly world. At last they came upon a cottage in the middle of a glade.
"This is chocolate!" said Hansel and broke a bit of chocolate from the wall.
"And this is icing!" said Gretel, putting another piece of wall in her mouth.
It seemed the friendly world was found. But then Gretel said:
“Wait a minute. We can’t just eat something that isn’t ours.”
“So what,” said Hansel. ”I’m hungry.”
“Nobody should eat other people’s houses. Maybe someone will come out and offer real food.”
"I haven’t eaten the house anyway, just a bit of wall," Hansel said, munching on another piece of something delicious. Then the door quietly opened.
"Well, well!" said a strange, old woman. "And haven't you children a sweet tooth?"
They looked at her but said nothing.
"Come in!” said the old woman. “You’ve got nothing to fear!”

The candy cottage belonged to a witch.

After a few more friendly and kind words, she said:
"You kids are nothing but skin and bones!"
All of a sudden, she grabbed Hansel and locked him into an old, rotten cage.
“I shall fatten you up and eat you!"
“Strange English”, thought Gretel.
Hansel was frightened but his sister just shook her head. It seemed they were dreaming. Was this a fairy tale? Was this reality? Gretel wasn’t sure. She loved fairy tales. But not in real life.
“Not now,” she sighed. “We don’t want fairy tales now. Sometimes fairy tales are horrible, just like reality.”

"You can do the housework," the woman told Gretel, "then I'll make a meal of you too!"
“I was right, “Gretel thought. “This is real life. Real life and a horror. Both. ”

The witch checked Hansel’s finger every day to see if he had gained weight.
"You're still much too thin!" she said after a month.
One day she had enough of waiting.
"Light the oven," she told the girl. "We're going to roast him!"
Gretel didn’t move. She was thinking about something, paying little attention to the old woman.
The witch screamed at the little girl: "Useless child! All right, I'll do it myself."
Later the witch wanted to see if the oven was hot enough.
“Now I could just push her inside,” Gretel thought. “Push her and slam the door. But that…” the girl shook her head, “that would be too much.”
She looked at her brother who was trembling. As the woman was about to stick her head into the door, Gretel said:
“Hold on. I know you’re starving. But let me ask you something before you roast my poor brother.”
The witch was shocked.
“How dare you… you…” she gasped.
“We both know that if you roast Hansel, you can eat him.”
“What,” said the witch and felt as if she was falling asleep.
“This is the law of cause and effect. When you push me hard, I fall down.”
“What,” sighed the witch. ”I must be dreaming,” she thought and then said: “What on earth…heaven…”
“Let me explain. If you roast Hansel, you eat. If you don’t roast Hansel, you don’t eat.”
Suddenly the witch could see shadows coming out from the darkness. It was more and more clear that she was facing something she had already experienced in the past. In the past she would try to find the meaning of life and death but found nothing, only frustration and anger. This girl was talking about philosophy.
“Philosophy,” the witch whispered.
“Madam,” said Gretel. “What is the situation where there is no room for a process of cause and effect?”
“I don’t know,” puffed the witch.
Gretel grabbed a shovel and hit her. The witch shivered a bit but stayed quiet.
“This is the real situation where there is no room for a process of cause and effect,” said Gretel.
The woman said in a calm voice:
“Now I see that you have found the meaning of life and death. I had been looking for it almost all my life but recently I gave up and became a child-eater. I am a criminal. Nobody likes me. I like nobody. I just eat poor little kids. I would like to ask you to teach me to see what the meaning of life and death is.”
“For now,” said the girl, “we’ve had enough theories. I hit you, which was an action, not a theory, not something you only imagine in your fairy tales. Now let me and Hansel get some food in the nearest village so we can all have dinner. Then we can discuss philosophy again.”

The witch couldn’t wait to listen to Gretel’s teaching. She didn’t want to eat, just discuss philosophy. She felt as if only talking to the girl would fill her stomach. But Gretel grabbed her brother and left the cottage.

On the way to the nearest village Hansel asked:
“How can I become as wise as you?”
“I’m not very wise. I just asked the old woman a question. She got stuck in her thoughts about this and that so I hit her. Anyway, we were lucky. If it hadn’t been for her interest in philosophy, she would’ve killed us. There are plenty of mad people, not just fairy tales characters. Some adults don’t believe in witches but I do.”
"I still don’t know what you said to her about effects and meanings. Could you explain it to me?”
“We came across that candy house, so we got into trouble. But as we ate the sweet chocolate, we were free. We didn’t know about our past or future problems. So I wanted to show her that beside her life that’s full of causes and effects, there’s also freedom within a simple action here and now. This simple action here and now provides a point where we can overcome the burden of our past actions and stop worrying about the future. Although we have to count on the law of cause and effect and can never escape it, not even in our dreams, not even in fairy tales, we can also enjoy freedom of the present. I wanted to show her that her life can become more balanced if she appreciates what she simply does here and now, be it washing clothes or just looking out of the window.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. But I’ll try to… I’ll study…”
“Yes. As you wish. But now don’t worry. Let’s just do the shopping.”

As they were walking down the forest path, they ran into their father who was desperately looking for them. They were all overjoyed.
“Your stepmother has died. It was a virus. Come home with me now, my beloved children!"
“Dad!” said Gretel. “Let’s first do some shopping. We’ve met this lady and we promised we would bring her some food from the nearest village. She’s starving! She almost ate Hansel. Really. Just like in the fairy tale. We did survive. Now let’s just buy some food, eat dinner with the lady and then go home.”
"Let’s do that!" said the father. “By the way, is the lady attractive?”
“Arrgh,” said Hansel, “she looks like a big old witch, Dad!”
"I hope,” Hansel said when they came to the village at last. “I hope that sometime we’ll find gold in the woods and become rich and there’ll be no more work for us. Just fun. “
“Just fun,” the father shook his head and smiled. “I quite like chopping wood.”

No Profit for You or Me

Kodo Sawaki, a Japanese Buddhist teacher who lived in the 20th century and taught Nishijima Roshi, often stressed that there is nothing to gain in practicing zazen or studying Buddhism. He taught that someone who tries to achieve something in Buddhism, be it through zazen or studying the Buddhist philosophy or discussing it or burning incense, makes a mistake if they believe Buddhism gives one a personal profit. According to Sawaki, satori or peaceful mind has nothing to do with Buddhism, if it limited to one person only. In other words, if you believe you can boast a satori or boast peaceful mind, you have misunderstood what Buddhism is.

Most people expect Buddhist practice to give them something they could personally profit from. If they don't believe they can attain enlightenment, they at least believe they can achieve some kind of peaceful mind. As soon as I came across books about Zen, I wanted to attain satori and become a fantastic person without any problems. And a lot of Buddhist teachers are considered enlightened and having a peaceful mind and no problems in their lives and people look up to them and follow them as if they were some kind of Gods. But according to Sawaki, it is ridiculous to brag and say, hey I am enlightened and I have no problems and am detached from the world. For Sawaki, satori is something you don't even realize happening - as you are practicing zazen without trying to attain anything special, satori comes in abundance, over and over again. Kodo Sawaki said: "It’s satori that pulls our practice. We practice, being dragged all over by satori." So there is no reason to make a difference between enlightened and unenlightened people. The only thing that matters is whether you practice zazen or not. Everyone is enlightened, but in Buddhism we learn to realize what we are ( what this enlightenment is ) as we practice zazen over and over again, never coming to an end of this practice.

But is it humanly possible to practice zazen without expecting at least a little bit of difference? Don't we realize we are more balanced, more content after zazen? Yes, I have almost always felt more balanced and more content after zazen, but only because I just practiced without looking for a personal benefit. I remember times when I practiced zazen in order to attain something special and it was almost unbearably difficult to continue like that. Such practice is like nurturing one's personal frustration. YOu practice only to find out that you have not made any progress. But when you give up and only practice in order to practice, immediately you can calm down and sit peacefully. But it is not your personal peace, it is the universal peace that has captured you completely. So to me, zazen itself, practicing zazen here and now is enough, satisfying enough. Also in everyday life, if we hope to feel excellent all the time, energetic all the time, our mind clear all the time and if we compare our ideals about some kind of Buddhist life with our actual life, we will be very frustrated. It is much better to give up these ideals and just act here and now. When there is a gap between me and the present moment, this place, then we can never be satisfied.

What most Buddhists hope for is some kind of great feeling or great mind after practicing for some time, but they can only attain - and it's wonderful to attain it - this place and this moment beyond the duality of myself and the world. So no matter how long you have practiced or how many times you have experienced something you may call satori, you can only be here and now and be the person you have always been - just yourself, content doing something concrete here and now. So what kind of personal profit is it? Once you call it personal profit, my satori, my peace, you already break the whole thing into peaces and become the same ordinary person who only sees the world as something outer.

There is something one can achieve in Buddhism, but that something is not limited to one person only, but is spread throughout the universe. "The universe" sounds too abstract maybe, but I just mean something that is immeasurable and limitless. Something we experience now and cannot see its limits and cannot call it any names. So the thing you realize in Buddhism through practice and philosophy is not something you can measure and say this is mine, not yours. What you realize practicing zazen and studying Buddhist teaching is something that has come from all beings, all things, it is something that has come from you, too. When you wash the dishes and feel balanced, it is not you only, the whole world is balanced. And when you look at a countryside and the countryside looks beautiful, it is not something separate from you, it is beauty that is yours. So whatever we do, whatever we see, it is always originally something complete. And this completeness is satisfying, but once you say I am satisfied by this completeness, you make the completness something incomplete, something objective. It is the same with satori, once you say I have "satori", what kind of satori is it that you can point to and say you have it? Of course, to attain the truth is possible in Buddhism, but the truth is beyond something objective that one can possess while the others cannot. So a person of the truth, someone who has realized the truth has no special qualities or something to show off.

A person of the truth may talk about feeling balanced and peaceful but he or she does not keep that state for himself or herself, but freely gives it up for the others. He or she shares his satori or Buddhist state with others, not "Here, this is my Buddhist state", but "Here, look, this is your Buddhist state. " Everyone experiences the Buddhist state many times a day, but most of us don't realize this. Buddhism teaches us to realize what Buddhist state is and enjoy it when it happens. But whenever it happens, you give it up freely, share it with the whole world. If you don't give it up, it is not a Buddhist state. If you give it up, there is no profit. No profit for me, no profit for you, just the whole world benefits from the state that is beyond personal limits.