Uchiyama Roshi's Explanation of Enlightenment

Uchiyama Roshi was a student of Kodo Sawaki, who was a no-nonsense, strict, homeless, poor monk who spent his life practicing zazen, studying Buddhism and teaching Buddhism. Uchiyama Roshi was a bit different from his master. On the other day Uchiyama Roshi asked Kodo Sawaki how long it would take him to be as strong as his master. Kodo Sawaki replied that zazen didn't make him this strong. He had always been strong, ever since his childhood years. So he didn't expect Uchiyama to become like him; instead he taught that everyone has to find his or her own nature. Uchiyama was probably a very gentle person. Probably a bit quieter than Sawaki. But his commentaries on Dogen's Shobogenzo are profound and wonderful. And I would like to share his explanation of zazen and enlightenment with my readers. What follows is an excerpt from the book The Wholehearted Way written by Uchiyama Roshi.

"In the true zazen enlightenment is not good. Delusion is not bad. We should look equally at both enlightenment and delusion. Our sitting should be like this. This zazen has no comparison with zazen based on the desire to get satori and feel good, a kind of personal, psychological condition.

Dogen Zenji said that to sit in such a way is the true way of enlightenment; such zazen itself is enlightenment. Zazen is not a means to gradually attain enlightenment. We sit zazen, which is dropping off body and mind right now, right here. Practice and enlightenment are not something different. We should not separate practice and enlightenment into two. Since zazen is itself enligtenment, there is no way to think that I become enlightened as a result of zazen practice. To sit zazen is to be in the profound sleep of enlightenment. Therefore, to think that I am enlightened is the same as to think that I sleep well within sound sleep. This is sham sleep. When we sleep really well, we cannot think that we sleep well. In the same way, in zazen, we cannot see if we are are enlightened or not. Sometimes we feel clear in zazen, sometimes not; certainly we don't feel clear more often than not. In either condition, zazen is zazen. We sit right in that place where we can look at both enlightenment and delusion equally."

What can I add? To me, I have no desire to change my zazen into something else. The way I feel when I practice zazen, no matter what I feel like, clear or not, is still zazen and that is what matters most to me. As long as I can practice zazen in the present moment, I am completely satisfied with my delusion-enlightenment situation.

Buddha's and our's Middle Way

Today I was teaching about Buddhism as part of my teaching about world main religions. After the lecture I gave about Buddha's life one student said that it is too extreme to live like a Buddha - in a forest, sleep outdoors, have nothing... A good way how to inspire me to write now!

I told her that comparing the modern life to Buddha's life, it seems Buddha's life was too extreme. But in his time, his simple life was much more comfortable and milder way than what some Indian yogis or ascetics did in those days. So I told the student that a Buddhist today does not try to imitate Buddha's life in terms of lifestyle. Instead a Buddhist these days does what is for them a middle way. And these days the middle way is living an ordinary life - neither trying to achieve a spiritual perfection, nor trying to achieve material perfection. So living in a house or flat, going to work, looking after children, driving a car to visit friends etc. is nothing extreme. It is our middle way these days.

But the most important thing is that we have to find what is our true way. If it is true for us to work as a manager and work hard and make a lot of money, then it is our true way. It is our original way. By original I mean what has roots in the workings of the universe. One extreme is too much food, too much alcohol, too much sex, too much talk, too many problems... Another extreme is lack of food, lack of drinks, lack of sleep, lack of energy, lack of ideas. Even a king or president has a chance to live a Buddhist life. Doing his or her job properly, looking after himself or herself, being kind to others, going to bed early enough, drink moderately, speak realistically and having a realistic attitude toward the issues of the world is a true way for anyone, be it a queen or a factory worker.

Each one of us has to find his or her original, true way, without imitating somebody we are not. When we practice zazen every day, when we do our job properly and behave properly and don't give up our pursuit of the truth, then this way is no different from Buddha's way.

There Must Be Something

In my last post I suggested that there is no difference between a master and a student when it comes to their quality of experience. There is no sudden enlightenement or something that makes you enlightened ever since you "get it". I wrote that the thing is about understanding or experiencing the essence of enlightenment. And Robert argued that then understanding or experiencing the essence is "it" and that must be something to get one day or attain one day or something that must be found sooner or later.

Well, the essence of enlightenment, no matter if you find it or not, is reality right here and now in front of us. So clearly, it is not something to be found in terms of finding something new, right? Is there a way how to find the taste of green tea as something new, one day, sooner or later? The only way how to find the taste of green tea is to drink it. It seems that so called enlightened people taste the taste of green tea differently or more deeply or more intense. If something about people who practice zazen is any different, it is that they are less distracted by millions of ideas and feelings and desire. So when you practice zazen in the morning for half an hour, you have a good chance to experience for yourself what the real taste of green tea is. But there is basically no chance to taste the real green tea in the midst of political discussion. You will miss the tea and a lot of other real things around you. The only thing you will find real will be a couple of political arguments. But there is no reason why someone who practices zazen in the morning as his or her real zazen practiced by his or her real self should be cut off from reality. We can call reality "the truth". When we call reality the truth, it seems we change the spiritual gears and get up to a higher level. Reality is just tea, while the truth is something secret that only few people with special spiritual experience have access to? In fact it is the same thing, you just have to decide if you like the word "reality" or the word "truth". The truth is a word I use when I want to stress the final quality, the supreme, the thing that is beyond all ideas and opinions. I use the word "reality" when I want to stress the aspect of real life, the way we experience it every day, something that is simply part of and cannot be cut off from anyone or anything. Reality is something you cannot deny or cannot "not experience" or "not know". While the truth is something we should aim to practice and realize. So yes, there is an aspect of "something over there that I should aim to practice or realize". But that something must be found here and now. So when we practice Buddhism, we learn to practice here and now, attain here and now, be ourselves here and now and discover the truth here and now. So of course, there is this paradox of "pursuing something or seeking something" which sounds like it must be somewhere else and some other time, but pursuing the truth is just studying and observing and practicing the present moment as something that itself is ultimate and true.

I can only be myself and nobody else. My experience here and now is beyond ideas or categories and so is everyone else's experience. So we could say we are living in the midst of enlightenment or the truth all the time. But we like to play with ideas that have no connection to reality, we love to dream and compare and imagine that "this can't be it" while "that surely must be it". As we are fantasizing about enlightenment like this, we are deep soaked in the pouring rain of the truth.

We might say that something will be discovered sooner or later, but it will be just discovering the present, that is not different from the present we can experience now already. It won't make us any better than others and it won't make us any more enlightened than a guy selling train tickets at the station who has never heard of Dogen. Now we should realize that there is definitely lots of things we can learn in Buddhism, learn about ourselves and others. We can learn very valuable things from a real Buddhist teacher. We can learn to understand Buddhism and learn to live a realistic life. These are extremely difficult tasks and not many people are able to finish these tasks. It would be just very silly to reduce Buddhism to a fantasy about one's enlightenment. It is about something else, something absolutely real, it is about our own experience and our real life. There is no reason to underestimate our own potential to be true people. But to practice and live the truth is something very concrete, something very everyday, something very real and has little to do with imagination. We may talk about enlightenment of others and our own for decades but our stomach will need food anyway and work will not be finished unless we go and finish it.

More Than a Picture

In Buddhism we come across the problem of images. We may read about images of mountains, images of flowers, images of buddhas etc. We could say that even Buddhism itself is just an image that appears in our head.

What is Buddhism really? Isn't it just a big load of thoughts after all? I remember having a depression a few years ago and being frustrated as a Buddhist student. I got stuck in the middle of nowhere, I wasn't happy with the way my former teacher communicated with me and almost gave up Buddhism completely. I thought: Buddhism is just an idea, that's all. I thought: The truth itself does not care about Buddhism or any ism anyway.

An image is a picture or reflection, something we cannot touch. We cannot eat images of bread or vegetables. And when we eat real vegetables, although our brain makes images so we can see what is food and what is not, we eat something real after all. We could say that Buddhism is just something we imagine, but when we really sit down and practice zazen, no matter what we imagine, no matter what we see in front of ourselves as images, we do something substantial. When we fall in love and we cannot see our partner, we may play with images of her face or body, we may imagine her smile and laugh and movements. But only when we meet her can we experience something substantial. But the whole of reality is not just substantial, but also imaginary. It is both.

People sometimes tend to be lost in the world of images. They lose touch with reality and only dream. They imagine something they lost or imagine something they want. When they study Buddhism they imagine enlightenment and sometimes imagine they are this or that. But substantially their life usually seems very ordinary to them and they cannot find satisfaction in it. The less satisfaction they find, the more they tend to find something in their imagination.

But life is not only something substantial, but also our abstract thoughts and our images. We have to count on both aspects as they make the whole of reality. When we stop thinking and working with abstract concepts, we will lose the opportunity to understand something real, something that really happens here and now. But when we ignore the substantial aspect of life, we tend to stop caring about everyday life, we neglect the needs of our body and neglect the practical aspects of life. So when I met Mike Luetchford, I soon began to learn that Buddhism is neither a world of abstract thoughts only, nor everyday life without any thoughts. It is neither playing with images and ideas only, nor living like a primitive animal. It is both - but not something split. Some people are both, but split. For a while they dream about something crazy and then they actually do something crazy. In Buddhism we study concepts that are helpful and positive for human beings in general and then try to act as noble human beings, not as wild animals. When we harmonize these two aspects - noble philosophy and noble actions, we can find a new kind of satisfaction in our lives. This is not something that satisfies only ourselves, but also others, as they can benefit from our realism and proper actions. Of course, this is something that one has to study and learn for decades, but even today, when a beginner does something completely and properly, a lot of people benefit from such an action. We can start anytime, right now, we can learn this everyday and feel the satisfaction of such a life really right at the beginning of our Buddhist studies and practice. We can feel satisfaction when we observe people who are sincere and act properly and care about others and we can join them already today. We can do our best today. And it does not matter whether we are young or old, healthy or sick, big or small, bold or shy.

When we taste a strawberry, it is reality beyond the opposite of image and original existence, it is both. When we practice zazen, it is both an image and something substantial. Although these are just some words that appear as pictures in your head, I am trying to explain something real, something only a real person can experience. When we stop reading, writing and speaking, Buddhism will disappear. The truth will be there all the same, but Buddhism will not. To preserve Buddhism, it is necessary to study words and speak and act according to Buddhism.

Who Won the Game of Enlightenment?

Not a long time ago someone brought up the issue of "enlightenment competition", or the game of "who is more enlightened than who". I agree that it is silly to compare people's enlightenment levels, it is totally off the mark.

I have read some comments on the problem by master Uchiyama, who was Kodo Sawaki's disciple and I wrote the following comments, trying to explain how I understand the problem, according to master Dogen's teaching and my own belief and experience.

There is no success or failure when it comes to the truth. The truth is beyond success or failure. We sometimes believe that we have failed to attain enlightenment or sometimes we believe we have succeeded and attained it. But when we just sit in zazen, there is no success or failure. When we just do something here and now, doing our best, being ourselves, there is no success or failure involved. A wise person does not consider himself or herself successful as opposed to those who lack wisdom. Actually, a wise person does not hinder himself or herself with wisdom, let alone with his or her own success in becoming wise. It is the truth itself that has to be expressed without being obstructed by ones' own ideas about himself or herself or others as higher or lower on the stepladder of wisdom.

We only speak of wisdom and stupidity, satori and delusion to point the direction of reality. And although we often speak about wisdom and stupidity as two different things, we actually realize in Buddhism that they are the same thing, essentially, as well as satori and delusion are the same thing, essentially. This Dogen's Buddhist teaching inspires us to be bold and transcend the duality of delusion and wisdom and be just ourselves completely over and over again, every day. In zazen there is no need to become somebody else. No need to attain satori. We needn't worry that our zazen is not successful. After all, it is our own zazen, so naturally, it is the best. To sit in zazen, beyond success or failure is the truth, the realization of Buddha's stepping into the real world beyond categories and levels of attainment.

Gaku Do Yo Jin Shu

I actually completely forgot to ask the authors of Gakudo Yo Jin Shu translation for permission to publish the text. It was a text that was translated and edited by master Nishijima, Mike Luetchford and Mike Cross, not sure exactly who did what. So if you are interested in the text, we will find a way how to get it with their permission, okay? So I have deleted the text.

Gaku Do Yo Jin Shu / part one

I decided to delete this part of Gakudo Yo Jin Shu, and the explanation is in the next post.


you can still read my comments, though